Weird. Weekly. Wondrous.
*
“Take care, and follow your dreams. They are the best part of you.”
—unicorns2.1@juno.com
Why did I choose such a pretentious mouthful for the title of my newsletter? I simply couldn’t resist. I would argue that words are far more glamorous with -iferous tacked onto the end like a fancy plume. Take these sassy sparklers: diamondiferous, stelliferous, and splendiferous,etc. I think "luniferous” elegantly alludes to the light transmitted by the moon. Other people have used this same word in academic writing and computer coding, but AI seems to stubbornly disapprove of its existence:
Nice, but luciferous and luminiferous are the wrong syllabic confections. Try again:
Nope, still not the word I'm looking for! The closest word to it appears to be "laniferous," an equally fancy, fleecy adjective for wool-bearing creatures. Also neat.
At last, in another search, AI concedes that the troublesome word might exist:
INK of the Moment
If you were only allowed to remember one word for the rest of your life, what would it be? If your mind was stripped of all linguistic significance, what single word would you choose to cherish like an undroppable pearl?
For me, I would keep only one syllable—“tree.”
Such dendritic beauty is rarer than galactic diamonds, and potentially the unique wealth of Earth alone. Tangled groves give us breath, sweet syrup for our lips, amber for adornment, wood for shelter and sparks, and a flutter of pages for mystic scratches.
We cast our gaze to the stars searching for intelligent life, while imperiled dryads sing in their bark beside us. Our logic divides their loveliness into lyrical categories like Liriodendron tulipifera, the Tulip Tree, and Hibiscus syriacus, the Rose of Sharon. Even so, the wonder of a tree can never be wholly contained by any human thought in the world!
Yet when leaves rustle against my soul, the only word that twins true with tree is "friend."
Fancy INK
DARK STARLIGHT
My only desire is to stab
the blank paper with ink
and leave pinpricks
of dark starlight
on the page!
Even if it is only
a single asterisk.
That too, is treasure.
A dust mote
of dreams.
*
Faerie INK
DEAR VORACIA
"Dear Voracia" is a magical phenomenon! The mysterious dragon columnist has been dispensing her wise admonitions and lethal stratagems for over a millennium now. Not sure if you should buy a cursed needle or a poison apple to hex your enemies? Arguing with your significant other over whether to add armored newts or battle guppies to your castle moat? Wondering if a pair of glass slippers is a fair trade for your soul? Ask Madame V.
Correspondence #1 – Human Pest Control
Dear Voracia,
I recently inherited a fine parcel of land from my Great Uncle, Wilhelm Crushmuch Ogreson the III. But I'm afraid my uncle stopped maintaining the property over the last few centuries, and a bunch of humans moved in and set up a dandy little den they call "Appleshirehamlington." A bit pretentious for mere pests, if you ask me, making up imaginary kingdoms on MY land . . .
Anyway, I took over my uncle's monster duties straight away and started scaring the humans all the usual ways: eating their livestock, making trollish faces in their windows at night so all their wee babbins screamed, and generally wreaking the most horrible havoc. But they've banded together with unusual tactical efficiency (pitchforks and firebrands), and I can hardly steal a stray sheep these days. I'm worried I'll be driven away from my own home at this rate.
What can I do to rid myself of this human infestation, and regain control of what's rightfully mine?
Sincerely,
The Embattled Inheritor
Re:
Dear Embattled Inheritor,
You could always try eating a few humans to really scare them off your land. But then, you might run the risk of the Appledumplingtons hiring a knight or traveling wizard to finish you off. A human hero is the most bothersome pest of all! Trust me, I've picked my fangs with the bones of more than one noble hero in my day, and they're hardly worth the indigestion.
It sounds like this invasive species is well-established on your property, so you might consider a formal truce with their leader until you are able to muster the necessary brawn or sorcery to utterly destroy them later. Perhaps you could propose marriage with the spawn of their resident king or queen?
Good luck!
-Madame V.
INK of Others
Against the Fall of Night by Arthur C. Clarke
When readers think of Arthur C. Clarke's works, perhaps 2001: A Space
Odyssey or Rendezvous with Rama are the most often remembered. But
my favorite novel by Master Clarke will always be Against the Fall of Night.
Imagine an Earth of salt and sand, where oceans are a memory millions of years
old and the remnants of humanity have gained great longevity even as their
population dwindles away in an immortal city of machines. Alvin is the last
child born in the Port of Diaspar in seven thousand years, and far too curious
for his own good. He embarks on a forbidden quest to seek answers beyond the
city's crumbling walls: is there anyone, any life at all beyond Diaspar? Who
were the Invaders that pushed man's empire from the stars and nearly destroyed
the human race?
Alvin's lonely restlessness holds the reader captive till the last page, and
makes his journey your journey.
Feeling a mite peckish for poems?
Entangle yourself in forty years of wandering and plunge deep within the root and rot intrinsic to existence while searching for worth in Tangible Creatures.
“Mother ash undone universe
Breathe into me—
(Just one more time)
But how does one plead with a ghost?
How dare I ask for some
MORE.”
*Thanks for reading! If you'd like my free newsletter dropped into your inbox every Wednesday, you can subscribe to my Substack account here.
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